It's the hardest thing
After another clubbing session in cafe Flam with angel in sunway, we both went to ss2 Nasi Kandar for a late supper at around 3 something. It was the first time i sat down with angel and had a serious talk about life. Suddenly think back of what i've done to achieved what i've got today, what had happened to me and of course all the obstacles and path that i've been through until today, i start to realise how difficult is to finish my journey and to grow up. I start missing my childhood life and i wanna be a little girl again, who knows nothing and have no worries about anything at all.
Life ain't easy i said. Told Angel about my path, my past and my present. He was listening while i was talking seriously. I was so thankful for his time. :) *thanks angel* *muacks-muacks* . It will always be the biggest question mark for me WHY??? that i always have to go through loadsa obstacles in order to get through a normal and ordinary life, to get what i want and to be what i am.
I was tired. Really TIRED!! Sick of LIFE and sick of EVERYTHING!!! Luckily i was surrounded by people who loved and care for me. That is the only thing i am proud of. Think back of what happened 5 years ago, when i first graduated from high school. I didn't go to college just took up LCCI (Accounting) from Mrs Wee Kelantan Commercial School because of some circumstances and obstacles that time. I worked for two years as a "multipurpose and cheap labour" where i have to do everything single fcuking thing even though by right i wasn't supposed to do all that. Who cares about me. No one do...except for my parents. I'm so helpless and i feel completely an idiotic useless.
Felt tremendously upset with myself. Why din i do well in SPM and just get to Local University and show everyone that i can do it. My only desparate choice that time and my only last hope is to private college but dealing with financial difficulties had stop me from going there for the time being. Well i worked and i learnt nothing, cheap pay and of course being bullied all the time but i keep quiet. Don't want my parents to worry but until year 2002, I cannot take it anymore. I seek my uncle's help for his financial assistance and he agreed to help. Next day, things had turned to be so chaos. Everyone was talking about what my sudden decisions of pursuing my studies.
Nothing wrong i assumed just that i wanna study. That's all. They made it like as if I did something wrong. Fcuk them anywayz. It's the hardest thing for me when my decisions had put my parents into deep shit. They had to face them and hear all those unpleasant words from their fcuking big bloody mouth. Today, i am proud with what i have (my beloved ones) and what i have achieved in studies and everything i do is for my parents' sake and I won't let them down. I won't be going back to Kelantan is because of them, always look down upon on what i did.
Never look down upon on anyone's ability. Everyone has their own way. I may not be a genius last time and now but who knows one day I might be the sole and sucessful survival and I swear I gonna show them that they are wrong and will make them take their own fcuking words back. LIFE'S SUXSSS!!!!!
Life ain't easy i said. Told Angel about my path, my past and my present. He was listening while i was talking seriously. I was so thankful for his time. :) *thanks angel* *muacks-muacks* . It will always be the biggest question mark for me WHY??? that i always have to go through loadsa obstacles in order to get through a normal and ordinary life, to get what i want and to be what i am.
I was tired. Really TIRED!! Sick of LIFE and sick of EVERYTHING!!! Luckily i was surrounded by people who loved and care for me. That is the only thing i am proud of. Think back of what happened 5 years ago, when i first graduated from high school. I didn't go to college just took up LCCI (Accounting) from Mrs Wee Kelantan Commercial School because of some circumstances and obstacles that time. I worked for two years as a "multipurpose and cheap labour" where i have to do everything single fcuking thing even though by right i wasn't supposed to do all that. Who cares about me. No one do...except for my parents. I'm so helpless and i feel completely an idiotic useless.
Felt tremendously upset with myself. Why din i do well in SPM and just get to Local University and show everyone that i can do it. My only desparate choice that time and my only last hope is to private college but dealing with financial difficulties had stop me from going there for the time being. Well i worked and i learnt nothing, cheap pay and of course being bullied all the time but i keep quiet. Don't want my parents to worry but until year 2002, I cannot take it anymore. I seek my uncle's help for his financial assistance and he agreed to help. Next day, things had turned to be so chaos. Everyone was talking about what my sudden decisions of pursuing my studies.
Nothing wrong i assumed just that i wanna study. That's all. They made it like as if I did something wrong. Fcuk them anywayz. It's the hardest thing for me when my decisions had put my parents into deep shit. They had to face them and hear all those unpleasant words from their fcuking big bloody mouth. Today, i am proud with what i have (my beloved ones) and what i have achieved in studies and everything i do is for my parents' sake and I won't let them down. I won't be going back to Kelantan is because of them, always look down upon on what i did.
Never look down upon on anyone's ability. Everyone has their own way. I may not be a genius last time and now but who knows one day I might be the sole and sucessful survival and I swear I gonna show them that they are wrong and will make them take their own fcuking words back. LIFE'S SUXSSS!!!!!
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