A brand new journey, life & status for you..
Dear Chong Chun,
You will soon officially be Carol's husband on this coming 25th of September 2006. I am here to wish you all the best of luck and most importantly CONGRATULATIONS to both you and carol..
Everything finally ended peacefully for both of us after going through the tough, suffering and tormenting moments that i had to faced all by myself because of what you had done to me..
I had tried very hard to hate you..
I had tried very hard for wanting to bitch about you as a revenge of how you bitched about me infront of everyone including my sibblings..
I so wanted to ruin your life..
ruin your marriage plan because i was too angry for what happened..
I'm way too TIRED
but i did not do anything back in return because i seriously do not see the point of doing so.. It will makes me look more like an idiot with extremely low mentality and most importantly i've always believed in Karma that what comes around goes around
Life is not fair you see.. you escape just like that for what you did.. You choose to humiliates me infront of everyone else when you start seeing someone new and LOOK AT ME!! did i do that in return?? No.. WHY?? I have no idea why did i choose to step back and not to play along with you in handling these situations.. You accused me for not being understanding the needs of you as a fillial son to fulfill your parents anxiety and hope that they will be able to see their only son to build up his own family before they leave this world? Look i know you loved your parents and family very much and that is what i loved the most about you.. Family is your main priority..
Frankly speaking, i want to marry you, i want to be your wife and i want to be the mother of your children and i want to spend the rest of my life with you but the timing is just not there yet.. I am too young to get married and you claimned that you loved me.. but i seriously do not think so because if you do, you will understand my pressure and why i cannot marry yet and you will WAIT FOR ME if you really loved me that much.. Initially i wanted another 4 years time but i am ready to compromise and cut down the time length to another 1 to 2 years time.. But you just cannot wait.. Too bad then..
All these while, no one actually knows what was i thinking.. the pressures i had for keeping/dragging our relationship for almost 5 years long.. I've always pressurized myself by thinking if this is the type of life that i wanted all this while.. is it the right time to settle down with you and can i leave everything i've achieved and pursued in KL behind and go back to Kota Bharu in order to be with you?? Yes?? No?? I don't know.. My instinct always tell me "Hui Yee, if you are not willing to settle down with him just don't drag this relationship too longer because you guys are not going anywhere and please be more understanding that his parents are getting older.. This had been killin me silently all this while and sometimes i cried over it.. because i seriously doesn't know what to do and what if i really let you go and in the end i will regret for making this decisions because i simply loved you too much..
I had wonderful time with you.. When we're together, you had been a really nice bf that can actually tolerates my temper and everyone is simply amazed with that especially my parents and sisters because it is not easy to handle this stubborn to the max with extremely bad tempered girl.. You had changed me, ever since i knew you, i will no longer explode for no reason like how i used to during my teenage days and now i start to see the importance of controlling my temper so that everyone will feel comfortable around me and not feeling annoyed with me.. Maybe i did not treated you well and i did took your kind deed for granted at most time.. hmm you never voiced up.. you never scold me when i did the wrong things.. why?? you always think it is not necessarily to settle things through arguement.. i agree on that but somehow i think through arguement, the condition of the relationships can be improved.. but you do not think so.. hmm.. you never say a word, unless it's to complain and it's practically driving me blardy insane..
You gave me all the freedoms to go and know other guys openly and do anything that i wanted to.. You never restrict me from dressing up as sexy as i wanted to unlike other bfs who wouldn't like the idea of their gf dressed up too sexily.. Well i did my part on that as well ey..I gave you all your freedoms too right?? :) Everyone used to think we're nuts for doing that (going out with other girls and guys) and well i've always believed in you just like how you believed in me as long as we know what's our limits right?? Unbelievable.. no one actually believed that we're a couple because we looked like best friends more than a couple.. :) I still remembered our clubbing moment.. we reached the club together but end up going our own directions.. ;) haha *winks* I had fun seriously for doing everything together and thanks for introducing great bunch of friends to me knowning that i do not have too much of friends during that time.. Let the bygone be bygone.. No point of looking at the past and we can only improve ourself by looking towards the future and front.. :)
Well we're two different people from two different world and that is why we have different goals and different demands to achieve because of our different family background and condition.. You have a strong based that your parents had build for you and waiting for you to take things over.. but not me.. i am not as lucky as you.. I have to work and fight for what i deserves for a better life in future..Please promise me, that you'll behave and starts to see things differently.. You're a grown up man and for god's sake please act like one.. Don't go with your "tidak apa attitude" anymore ok.. Please.. you will soon be a husband and soon a father and please grow up and please take things seriously.. I seriously hope you will treasure all the privileges of life that you are blessed with for the time being.. Remember nothing comes easily without hard work on it.. Make your parents proud ok?? Prove to those who once think you are a useless bugger wrong about yourself ok.. Make me proud.. I want to see you happy and succeed in everything you do.. :) And for my part, do not worry ok.. good things are slowly coming in my way.. I know what i am doing..
Things are different now.. it's not the same like how it used to be anymore.. We're not really in good terms for what happened previously.. Blame it on you lor.. Big mouth.. please control your mouth ok.. It's not necessarily to spill out everything..Sometimes you offended people with your words and your kepo-ness without realising it.. Sometimes it's good to mind your own business.. stop being so nosey about other people's personal life ok because not everyone likes their personal life being intruded just like that because privacy matters in everything.. That is why sometimes i do not want to tell you things even up to this stage because you always spread it around with your own version.. Stop making up story please.. i hated that very much.. Don't make me angry with you again because i don't like doing that..
Lately, u've been getting into my nerves, tends to make me angry at you even more with your words that suddenly want to show that you still care despite of how u ditched me aside previously when i tried to be friends with you again, sometimes u really liked making me enjoying the moment of making me angry and starts scolding u huh??. and please change your MAILING ADDRESS la.. It had been so long already.. *grrrrrr*.. I do hoped things between us will change but i seriously do not think so.. I've tried too hard to save our friendship despite of what everyone said.. "Bev, there is no such thing as ex can be best friends".. but i never listen until u prove them right.. that ex cannot be best friend.. Anyway.. for carol's part.. i've done my best to.. trying to make things up with two of u but my mission FAILED.. nvm i've done my BEST.. frankly speaking.. i had gave up on you.. Please do not do anything else.. stop showing that you still care for me.. it's very fake, pretentious and not sincere.. you should have do it at the first place.. but now?? abit too late right??
Last but not least..
I seriously hope you and carol will have a great marriage life.. Please promise me to take a good care of yourself, your family, your family's business and also Carol.. Don't screw things and chances up anymore ok?? Luck doesn't follow you everywhere you go..You have big burdens and big responsibilities to carry now.. It's not easy but time will decide on everything.. Take care
From,
Me
xx@Beverley@xx
You will soon officially be Carol's husband on this coming 25th of September 2006. I am here to wish you all the best of luck and most importantly CONGRATULATIONS to both you and carol..
Everything finally ended peacefully for both of us after going through the tough, suffering and tormenting moments that i had to faced all by myself because of what you had done to me..
I had tried very hard to hate you..
I had tried very hard for wanting to bitch about you as a revenge of how you bitched about me infront of everyone including my sibblings..
I so wanted to ruin your life..
ruin your marriage plan because i was too angry for what happened..
I'm way too TIRED
but i did not do anything back in return because i seriously do not see the point of doing so.. It will makes me look more like an idiot with extremely low mentality and most importantly i've always believed in Karma that what comes around goes around
Life is not fair you see.. you escape just like that for what you did.. You choose to humiliates me infront of everyone else when you start seeing someone new and LOOK AT ME!! did i do that in return?? No.. WHY?? I have no idea why did i choose to step back and not to play along with you in handling these situations.. You accused me for not being understanding the needs of you as a fillial son to fulfill your parents anxiety and hope that they will be able to see their only son to build up his own family before they leave this world? Look i know you loved your parents and family very much and that is what i loved the most about you.. Family is your main priority..
Frankly speaking, i want to marry you, i want to be your wife and i want to be the mother of your children and i want to spend the rest of my life with you but the timing is just not there yet.. I am too young to get married and you claimned that you loved me.. but i seriously do not think so because if you do, you will understand my pressure and why i cannot marry yet and you will WAIT FOR ME if you really loved me that much.. Initially i wanted another 4 years time but i am ready to compromise and cut down the time length to another 1 to 2 years time.. But you just cannot wait.. Too bad then..
All these while, no one actually knows what was i thinking.. the pressures i had for keeping/dragging our relationship for almost 5 years long.. I've always pressurized myself by thinking if this is the type of life that i wanted all this while.. is it the right time to settle down with you and can i leave everything i've achieved and pursued in KL behind and go back to Kota Bharu in order to be with you?? Yes?? No?? I don't know.. My instinct always tell me "Hui Yee, if you are not willing to settle down with him just don't drag this relationship too longer because you guys are not going anywhere and please be more understanding that his parents are getting older.. This had been killin me silently all this while and sometimes i cried over it.. because i seriously doesn't know what to do and what if i really let you go and in the end i will regret for making this decisions because i simply loved you too much..
I had wonderful time with you.. When we're together, you had been a really nice bf that can actually tolerates my temper and everyone is simply amazed with that especially my parents and sisters because it is not easy to handle this stubborn to the max with extremely bad tempered girl.. You had changed me, ever since i knew you, i will no longer explode for no reason like how i used to during my teenage days and now i start to see the importance of controlling my temper so that everyone will feel comfortable around me and not feeling annoyed with me.. Maybe i did not treated you well and i did took your kind deed for granted at most time.. hmm you never voiced up.. you never scold me when i did the wrong things.. why?? you always think it is not necessarily to settle things through arguement.. i agree on that but somehow i think through arguement, the condition of the relationships can be improved.. but you do not think so.. hmm.. you never say a word, unless it's to complain and it's practically driving me blardy insane..
You gave me all the freedoms to go and know other guys openly and do anything that i wanted to.. You never restrict me from dressing up as sexy as i wanted to unlike other bfs who wouldn't like the idea of their gf dressed up too sexily.. Well i did my part on that as well ey..I gave you all your freedoms too right?? :) Everyone used to think we're nuts for doing that (going out with other girls and guys) and well i've always believed in you just like how you believed in me as long as we know what's our limits right?? Unbelievable.. no one actually believed that we're a couple because we looked like best friends more than a couple.. :) I still remembered our clubbing moment.. we reached the club together but end up going our own directions.. ;) haha *winks* I had fun seriously for doing everything together and thanks for introducing great bunch of friends to me knowning that i do not have too much of friends during that time.. Let the bygone be bygone.. No point of looking at the past and we can only improve ourself by looking towards the future and front.. :)
Well we're two different people from two different world and that is why we have different goals and different demands to achieve because of our different family background and condition.. You have a strong based that your parents had build for you and waiting for you to take things over.. but not me.. i am not as lucky as you.. I have to work and fight for what i deserves for a better life in future..Please promise me, that you'll behave and starts to see things differently.. You're a grown up man and for god's sake please act like one.. Don't go with your "tidak apa attitude" anymore ok.. Please.. you will soon be a husband and soon a father and please grow up and please take things seriously.. I seriously hope you will treasure all the privileges of life that you are blessed with for the time being.. Remember nothing comes easily without hard work on it.. Make your parents proud ok?? Prove to those who once think you are a useless bugger wrong about yourself ok.. Make me proud.. I want to see you happy and succeed in everything you do.. :) And for my part, do not worry ok.. good things are slowly coming in my way.. I know what i am doing..
Things are different now.. it's not the same like how it used to be anymore.. We're not really in good terms for what happened previously.. Blame it on you lor.. Big mouth.. please control your mouth ok.. It's not necessarily to spill out everything..Sometimes you offended people with your words and your kepo-ness without realising it.. Sometimes it's good to mind your own business.. stop being so nosey about other people's personal life ok because not everyone likes their personal life being intruded just like that because privacy matters in everything.. That is why sometimes i do not want to tell you things even up to this stage because you always spread it around with your own version.. Stop making up story please.. i hated that very much.. Don't make me angry with you again because i don't like doing that..
Lately, u've been getting into my nerves, tends to make me angry at you even more with your words that suddenly want to show that you still care despite of how u ditched me aside previously when i tried to be friends with you again, sometimes u really liked making me enjoying the moment of making me angry and starts scolding u huh??. and please change your MAILING ADDRESS la.. It had been so long already.. *grrrrrr*.. I do hoped things between us will change but i seriously do not think so.. I've tried too hard to save our friendship despite of what everyone said.. "Bev, there is no such thing as ex can be best friends".. but i never listen until u prove them right.. that ex cannot be best friend.. Anyway.. for carol's part.. i've done my best to.. trying to make things up with two of u but my mission FAILED.. nvm i've done my BEST.. frankly speaking.. i had gave up on you.. Please do not do anything else.. stop showing that you still care for me.. it's very fake, pretentious and not sincere.. you should have do it at the first place.. but now?? abit too late right??
Last but not least..
I seriously hope you and carol will have a great marriage life.. Please promise me to take a good care of yourself, your family, your family's business and also Carol.. Don't screw things and chances up anymore ok?? Luck doesn't follow you everywhere you go..You have big burdens and big responsibilities to carry now.. It's not easy but time will decide on everything.. Take care
From,
Me
xx@Beverley@xx
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