Devastated

Yes, i am devastated. The past 3 weeks has been crazy, emotional and extremely tiring for me. Tonnes of questions running through me head..

What?
When?
How?
and mostly all the Why?

If i have answer to every damn questions running in my head, maybe i wouldn't be here today doing what I'm doing at or maybe good at?

I would like to believe that I am a strong person mentally and emotionally but I guess I'm not especially when it comes to family matters..

Yes.. almost 3 weeks ago, we were all devastated to find out that Daddy is diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer with estimation of 6 months survival. I was at work during that time when the message came in. My world suddenly collapsed and my heart shattered into pieces and no words can described how i felt that time and i burst into tears inside my work cubicle.. Asking why is this happening..

I've not spoken to my dad since i found out about this cause mentally i wasn't ready worrying that i will break down over the phone.. Can't expect my dad to be strong when i am not myself.. So i texted him everyday to encourage him.. That's what i can afford to do for now..

I have very supporting friends who has been checking on me every now and then to make sure i am in good condition cause I need to be strong..

SIGH..